I've learned...

I've learned - that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned - that no matter how much you care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned - that it's not what you have in your life that counts but how much you have in your bank accounts.

I've learned - that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big member or huge boobs.

I've learned - that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more phucked up than you think.

I've learned - that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.

I've learned - that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do.

I've learned - that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their disfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.

I've learned - that overzealous power agents can change your life in a matter of seconds.

I've learned - that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. And all the less important ones just never go away.